From Anger to Action

Toddlers are a glimpse into our own unfiltered behavior. They haven't learned how to behave and hide their true feelings from society, so they act the way they feel like acting. When a toddler loses his kite in the wind and sees it sail into a tree, he loses his mind. He falls on the ground, kicking and screaming, he wails at the sky as if the gods have conspired to torment him, he pays no attention to his own ability to walk over to the dangling string and regain control of the kite. When a toddler is over-tired, the smallest thing can set him off into a rage nightmare. His guards are down and the injustice he feels over bedtimes or candy are coming pouring from a volcano of raw emotion. But he doesn't actually do anything to make himself more likely to get what he wants.

There is a lot to be angry about these days. If you watch the news, or read twitter for three seconds, you can work yourself up into a frothing mess. It is inescapable how many wrongs need to be righted and how many systems need to be totally destroyed and rebuilt. It is infuriating how hypocritical those on the "religious right" can be, and how blind they are to it. If I allow myself to think about it for too long, I become a furious mess. But I don't actually do anything about it.

I watched a sermon on YouTube by a pastor out of New York named Carl Lentz in which he talked about how too many people are "angryvists" and not many are activists. That struck me. How many times am I angry, righteously angry, but content to do absolutely nothing? As if being angry about the state of the world is somehow going to do something. Anger is a largely useless emotion. It is a primitive reaction in the most ancient parts of our brains to stimuli we find at odds with our desired method of survival. We get most angry when we are most stressed. Like a toddler who is over-tired, we are more prone to erupt when we feel distressed. When we are overcome with anxiety, we aren't ourselves. Anxiety causes stress, and stress makes us more irritable. When we are irritable, a tweet from a politician we don't like can set us ablaze. When we are stressed, we can watch a report about racial injustice and spew venom for twenty minutes about how miserable the hearts of the people in power must be to allow this to go unchecked, then we sit back down and check out another show on Netflix. We don't do anything about it.

What's at the core of your stress? What is causing you to be irritable? It's more important to know why you are irritable than it is to know what is irritating you. If you give an over-tired three year old what he is yelling about, he will only get irritated about something else. Even if the problem that you think is so irritating gets solved, you will only get irritated about something else.

One of the most common sources of anxiety is fear of the unknown. It's why half of the scary movies in the world take place under water or in space. We don't know much about sharks, so they terrify us. We don't know what we would do if aliens were real, so we freak out at alien movies. If we are truly honest, we don't know a whole lot. When we lie in our beds alone with our thoughts and the darkness and the uncaring ceiling, we really feel like we might be wrong about everything we think we know. The entire field of epistemology exists precisely to show us exactly how little we can be sure we actually know. Our ignorance of the future, of what is going to happen tomorrow, of whether it's all going to be ok--these are the sources of our anxiety.

The opposite of anxiety is confidence. Confidence is attractive because we want to be associated with someone who isn't as anxious and insecure as we are. Confidence leads to action while anxiety leads to stress. When you can manage your stress enough to funnel your disgust about the state of the world into action to end the injustice you see, you are operating from a confidence in something outside of yourself. We can't be confident in and of ourselves. We need something to be confident in so we can act.

One of the most famous activists--a man whose anger was proved righteous in his action--was Martin Luther King, Jr. He didn't just talk about injustice, he didn't yell and scream about hypocrites, and he didn't just send tweets with a hashtag that aligned him with the "good guys." He went out and did something. He stood on the steps of the Alabama State Capital building on March 25, 1965, and delivered a speech entitled Our God is Marching On. You should read it. He ended the speech with the key to his confidence. Dr. King gives us and his listeners that day a glimpse at how he overcame anxiety based in ignorance about the future and leapt into activism driven by confidence. He asks over and over "How long?" and answers it "Not long!" followed by a reason he is confident his cause will be victorious. He was confident in his belief that "no lie can live forever," and that "the moral arc of the universe is long, but  it bends towards justice." Dr. King believed those statements enough, he could be confident and funnel his emotion into action.

We can be confident in the same things. We can be confident God is ahead of us, drawing us and the world forward. God is for our progress as we move the world towards justice. We can't sit and be anxious, shouting and making more enemies that friends. We have to base our knowledge on the belief our God is marching us toward justice, and then act accordingly. We won't ever fully know anything. In his letter to a group of Jesus followers in the ancient city of Corinth, the apostle Paul--at the end of a brilliant rant about the power of Love--reminds us we only see a dim reflection of reality, but one day we will see face-to-face. We will know in the way in which we are fully known. Your fear about the future is a sign of your lack of confidence if how fully you are known. My angry tweets I thankfully delete more than I send are a sign of my lack of confidence. My rants about the hypocrites in politics are exercises in insecurity.

When he asks "How long will Justice be crucified and Truth bear it?" Dr. King confidently answers, "not long." Let's move beyond anger and into action. Let's move beyond ignorance and into confidence. Let's manage our stress, speak truth into our anxiety, and share the confidence we have with Love. Because Love is the anchor, the bedrock, the foundation. Love is the thing behind the thing behind the thing. Love is the motivator and the engine of all things. Love is creating and building and moving us all towards the Lover of our souls. 

Two Churches and a Boat

A few days ago I was in Brussels, Belgium, being a tourist. It was a California-swimming-pool-blue sky day and I walked the city with my wife and her mother. We stopped in cafés and shops and museums and experienced the city as much as one can in two days.

We walked to a cathedral at the top of a hill, a massive building with twin column towers reaching to the sky. Flags lazily flapped in the breeze at the cathedrals highest point. I was sure the inside of this building would be as impressive as the outside. Having seen the cathedral in Cologne several times, I was anticipating a similar feeling of dumbfoundness when I walked inside the sanctuary.
I was disappointed when we couldn't find a single door that would open. We walked all the way around it. I tugged on a door with St. Peter carefully engraved on it, nothing. St George's door? Nope.

I was upset. And not just because St. George gets to be a Saint because he killed a dragon when we know there aren't such things as dragons. I was upset because I hate the idea of locked doors on churches. The only thing I hate more than locked churches are churches that charge admission, looking at you St. Mark's in Venice.

Later that evening we walked after dinner. I love to walk after dinner. It makes me feel like Woody Allen, but not like weirdo-maybe-pervert Woody Allen, but like cool-artist Woody Allen. Really more like a character in a Woody Allen movie. I love having a delicious meal with people I like and then walking with them, talking mostly about how good the meal was. It's one of the few distinctly urban experiences I enjoy. So we walked. We meandered through the skinny streets of the old town and then came upon a small square with cafés and bars (Brussels ain't running out of cafés or bars anytime soon) and there was a church in the middle of the square.

This church was old, sure, but not special. The outside of it looked like any number of churches in Europe. It could have been a small Catholic church in about 20 countries. Its door, however, was open. We walked up to it and were shocked. The inside was jammed with stuff. Just tons of things. This tiny church had paintings in gold frames all over the walls, a crucifix ten feet tall hanging in the entryway, and not one empty space. Individually, each piece of art was beautiful. Piled together with ninety other things and a giant shrine holding the bones of thirty or so martyrs, it just looked busy. We took off, overwhelmed.

Sometimes we can be closed off. Maybe full of truth and beauty, but unavailable to anyone. We have a lot of good ideas about God but don't ever share them. Or maybe we like our people, but don't want to be open to those people, whoever they are. We can be closed up cathedrals.

We can also be so full of stuff. We can let people in, only to show them everything we have immediately, scaring them off. We can be "vulnerable" but really all we mean is we are OK sharing a ton in small group or praying out loud. We over-share in an attempt to be more pious or to cover up what is really wrong. We pile religious things up in our lives, like they will help us.

I saw a refugee boat in the entryway of the Cologne cathedral a week ago. It was an actual boat, about 6 yards long, that had held 100 refugees on their quest for a new life. Many of those people had died on the journey, suffocated to death by the bodies of other refugees. Scared people looking for hope. Projected on the floor in front of the boat, it said "Christ sits in the refugee boat." Nothing in any church has moved me as swiftly and deeply as that image. I needed a moment. An empty boat tells a story of hope and loss and suffering and need. It asks for compassion and understanding and Love. Christ is there in it and in me. He is in the boat, and He is in me, so maybe I can see myself in the boat.

Not a closed cathedral, not a church full of religious trinkets, but a refugee boat might be the best image of Christ's love inspiring us to participate in His work. Let it be so.

Life-Prayer

This Sunday, in every church in America, there is going to be someone talking about his or her prayer-life. maybe not the pastor, but someone. He or she will approach someone else and ask them about their prayer-life.

"How's your prayer-life?"

Prayer is important. In fact it is so important I didn't want to write this at all. I didn't feel qualified nor good enough at it to write about prayer. I mean, there are times in my life where I feel my prayers bounce back off the ceiling and hit me hot in the face. Useless words spouted at a God who is either not listening or just doesn't care?

What if there was more to prayer than talking to God? Not that talking to God isn't crucial, because it is, but what if that was just a part of the story? In Ephesians 2, Paul tells the church at Ephesus they are God's poem, his workmanship, his masterpiece. If that's the case, there might be more required than just a few whispers towards the ceiling before bed.

Most great musicians will tell you they don't know how a song works before they play it in front of an audience. Sinatra used to bring a crowd of people into the studio when he was recording. It helped him to see the people react to the song. Dylan used to do a similar thing. I once saw a documentary on Jay-Z making the Black Album and he was bringing two or three people into the studio with him just to listen to the beats he was choosing between. He knew if it didn't play in front of a crowd, it didn't play.

Maybe there's a part of prayer that's more like that. Maybe prayer plays in front of a crowd more than in a quiet room. Not in a "look at me, are you seeing this?" way, but in a "are you SEEING this?" way. Maybe prayer is part of the mystical union we have with one another which allows us to feel what someone else is feeling, to experience pain and joy with someone, and to learn from someone else's mistakes.

Just like any other healthy relationship, we need to spend time alone with one another. The nature of that time alone with God is extremely important, and as I talked about earlier, you don't actually have to be in solitude with God to have solitude with God.

There's nothing worse than someone bragging about their alone time with God. The public life-prayer is for other people, to encourage fellow Christians and to bring us closer to a true understanding of the above-all in-all through-all Savior we worship. We need a little spiritual PDA. The time you spend with God alone, the things you say, the things you do--some of that stuff needs to stay private.

Don't kiss and tell.

I once read an article in a surfing magazine that basically said surfing along is only honorable if you don't tell anyone about it. Prayer and fasting are done best when you don't tell anyone about them. How many books or blogs (hopefully not this one) are really just some person telling you how awesome his or her spiritual life is, hoping you think he or she is super pious? 

That's dumb.

I hope this is an honest account about how little I have it all together. That said, while prayer is beneficial when done in secret, your life-prayer is public. Your actions should be love letters to God or at least sappy texts sent in the middle of the night.

Prayer is done in secret, in your head. Life is done on the world stage. Prayer is your behind the scenes director's commentary to life. you can't be good at one without getting better at the other. 

But still. Don't be that guy. Don't try to make people think you're "super-spiritual guy" at the expense of the truth. It's lame. More importantly, it robs us of our joy and takes away from what is actually happening when we unite our spirits to God's in prayer.

You're like wood. Fire wood. When you put wood in a fire it burns. The wood ceases to be wood and becomes something else entirely. Some of it becomes ash. Some becomes charcoal, but most of the wood becomes fire. Prayer is you putting yourself in God's fire, knowing you will be changed. Knowing the Divine will consume you and transform you into Himself.
Don't you want a prayer life like that?

People are Confused

The more news coverage I watch concerning the aftermath of the explosions in Boston a few days ago, the more I realize how confused people are. Too many of us have confused violence with "peace-making."

Trust me, this isn't me taking the time to get on my pacifist soap-box and chastise anyone looking for violent revenge for these heinous acts. That would be inappropriate. The person or group of people behind these attacks have already made it clear how confused they are. Nothing else is apparent except this unmistakable fact: this attack accomplished nothing. The people of Boston didn't cower in fear, they responded with courage. The US didn't disintegrate into a panic, life continued the next day as scheduled for many of us.

In almost every mass demonstration of homicidal lunacy such as this one, the frivolous and useless nature of the attack never seems to cross the mind of the attacker. The Centennial Park bomb in Atlanta was a horrific crime, yet people continue to use that park and enjoy it while the bomber will spend the rest of his life in a dark cell underground in Colorado. The OKC bomb was the most brutal act of domestic terror in the history of the nation, yet the story didn't end with the government being overthrown or the people of Oklahoma cowering in terror. Any mind that is warped enough to think blowing up innocent people is going to accomplish anything positive is beyond the understanding of reality.

The sensationalist nature of the news coverage isn't new either. This is business as usual. The world continued to spin, the sun came up in the east again, and the news continued to rush to be the first to report something as fact without confirming it.

I guess what I am trying to convey with this post is this: violence can't win. No ideal is worth killing people over. Nothing is accomplished with attacks on the innocent. Most importantly, there is something, someone, who holds all things together and He gets the final say. His final say will be one of Love, Mercy, and Compassion because the new Kingdom--the one I already serve in this life--has no room for bombs or bombers.